How Much Should Your Baby Weight At 29 Weeks Uk Yummy, It’s Mummy

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Yummy, It’s Mummy

“Why can’t mothers slide comfortably into middle age?…Why is there such a wretched pressure on us to look good all the time?…Why does there have to be such a horror of being a little sissy?” Lauren Booth, sister-in-law of Tony Blair’s Prime Minister UK (1997-2007) (and maybe one day EU President?)

It’s the long school holidays. You would imagine that means I have my feet up as my son and his mates disappear into the park on their bikes. But no. I just survived a week of dropping off and picking up my son from the gifted and talented summer school at the local grammar school. Now, I applaud my son for being accepted into this prestigious program, but Jax is pretty sick of another week of exposure to the local Yummy Mummies.

Yes – if anyone thought having a baby was all about the baby… let me burst that bubble. Having a child means you’re constantly on guard to look amazing. Nothing else will do. And with people having kids later than they used to… looking amazing all the time isn’t easy.

It used to be generally agreed that when domestic contentment sets in, a woman should be less concerned with looking good and more concerned with being good, and she should move away from the center. This tacit agreement with the community was in accordance with the rules of female fertility – so it was considered right and proper that ‘the goods stopped being advertised when the ‘use by’ date was passed.

I remember when I was young how people marveled at the actress Goldie Hawn, not so much for her Oscar (for Cactus Flower) but for the fact that she was still seductively attractive when she was the mother of Oliver and Kate Hudson . It seemed unbelievable that a 45-year-old woman could have two high school-aged children and be a head gymnast. Many felt it was inappropriate for Ms. Hawn to sport a head of long blonde hair, let alone appear in a champagne glass on the cover of Playboy. A controversy raged over the role of women of a ‘certain age’ for months – it was concluded that Ms Hawn was a freak of nature and not a standard for us lesser mortals to aspire to.

Back then, the general rule of thumb was that being sexy is for the 29 and under….Then pull the shutters down and close up shop. BUT more to the point when you have kids… Game Over. Now it wasn’t all bad. Getting away from the unnecessary competitiveness and tediously complicated business of being a woman was welcomed as a kind of vacation. As un-PC as it may sound, there was actually some truth to the convention that being sexually attractive is a young person’s profession.

Your twenties are your selfish decade. Free from the shackles of childhood and not yet trapped under a weight of responsibility, there really isn’t much else to do but invest in yourself. For most women, a large part of that investment lies in our physical appearance. And why not… these are the ‘man trap’ years… always good to coat the bitter pill of commitment with honey. But the deed is usually done by the end of the decade, and once kids start coming along, there really aren’t enough hours in the day. Okay, there are those lucky enough to have an army of helpers and nannies – but for most of us mortals, it’s a non-stop round of washing things and people and picking up things and people. It was great that no one expected you to look like you just stepped off the catwalk either.

Back then you could always spot a mother. Practical was a word that dominated her appearance. Her hair was no longer than shoulder length – practical. She wore a suburban uniform of effortless, uncomplicated clothes and little sensible jewelery (if any) – practical. Her shoes were a regular 1.5 inch heels in a comfort fit – practical. If she wore makeup, it would just be a little dusting of powder, touch of lip balm, brush of mascara – practical. The older the mother, the more practical the uniform became – of course, the older you are, the harder it is to keep up with the demands of young children. But gym skip mother or late prima-grada it was always the same. You stop riding the fad train once you use up the ovaries… well, they weren’t called OVERies for nothing. And society gave you permission to get off the fashion bandwagon – after all, you are a mother now. It REALLY wasn’t about YOU anymore.

And then… a cosmic event happened. A British actress was photographed walking across Hampstead Heath. She looked dazzlingly beautiful… and before her was a stroller with a little girl named Gracie in it. The baby was hers… and the paparazzi were amazed. Anna Friel had taken a break from her acting career to become a hands-on parent… and there she was… looking good… actually more than that… she looked better than she did PRE- CHILD. Desperate for a caption to print under this world-shattering photograph, a sub-editor in Fleet Street called her for a children’s breakfast food and the phrase Yummy Mummy was born.

From that point on, the luxury of looking exhausted from running around after kids all day was banished. Mrs. Friel was not in the first flush of youth, and she looked well. Since then, celebrity mums over 40 from Rachel Hunter, Brooke Shields, Halle Berry to Courtney Cox have championed the cause, showing that no matter your age – having a baby means you can look good too. There is no get out clause. Being a mom these days is NOT a vacation from the pressure of looking hot.

I remember going to my first party after my son was born. The date was circled in my calendar as D-Day at Churchill’s. I had to look amazing and not AT ALL like I just had a baby three months before. The dress was purchased… an unforgiving mushroom gray silver number (DO NOT HAVE A BABY BORN THREE MONTHS BEFORE THE CHRISTMAS PARTY SEASON!!!). There is no room for a belly after baby. And after a summer of maternity flats… I suddenly had to learn to wobble around in killer heels again.

I had to get everything toned and FAST. (Don’t kid yourself, it’s only your midriff that gets pregnant… it ALL swells up… every inch of you!) Breastfeeding (once done for the benefit of transferring nutrients to the baby) becomes essential, as you can almost hear your muscles contract and watch with joy as your deflated postpartum breasts pump up again. Sure, all that on-demand feeding gives you a healthy (if not a little heavy) baby, but that’s no bad thing. My baby thought he had the best mom when he was lifted and lowered 30-50 times every day by his playful mom… but I was really using him as weights.

All that just to walk into a party to hear my colleagues squeal with delight at how I had ‘talked back’. And going in was about all I could do. Having a baby is exhausting enough without size 10 surgery for Christmas. All the grueling work to be pre-baby fit… and I arrived at eight o’clock and I went home to bed before midnight. But it’s not just big events…you have to look good ALL the time, at least people say you ‘let yourself go’.

The time was that she was invisible behind the pram, and the focus of attention was the contents of the pram. A mother would spend more time getting the child ready for his debut out on the local streets. She could be in a dressing gown and slippers for all the attention she would get… it was all about the baby. She wanted to be down at the park, having a friendly laugh with other moms in their unbrushed, unkempt glory. Being a mother back then was very talkative, very kind and warm.

These days, a simple thing like popping out for a loaf of make-up, shiny washed hair, skinny jeans and a cashmere sweater means. Don’t forget this season’s accessories, at least people only give you 6 points to try. And… if you plan on walking behind a stroller in an urban area… get those killer heels out. There’s no room for practicality in yummy mummy-dom… deviate from the rules and everyone thinks you’ve simply gone nuts.

It doesn’t get any easier if the child comes to school. The school gates are bad places. No. I’m not talking about the kids… It’s the other mothers. WHERE do they get the time? They step out of their cars looking like they’re going to Royal Ascot! When I worked part-time when my son was little, I finished work an hour early so I could rush home and change before I got to the school gates. I’ve witnessed working mum’s changing outfits on the train just so they look good for the school gates… just like getting dressed for work isn’t enough stress when you have kids!! Even the stay-at-home moms knew your child was headed for social ostracism if you show up in hastily pulled jeans and a top covered in pickled fingerprints. You tell yourself that you are doing this for your child and you cave in.

For me, it got easier when I returned to full-time work and left the grandparents to it. But still, school events required my participation and be it sports day, parents’ evening or the school play – I was filled with fear of not reaching even the lowest rung of the required standard of Yummy Mummyness. The general rule is that you should look like motherhood is something you take in stride. It does not affect your physical appearance AT ALL. You and your offspring need to look perfect at all times.

When you have a baby – you snap back – there is no post baby bump. Your nails will be painted, your lippy will be on and you will be in this season’s outfit. Your heels will be high. Your hair will be long and well groomed and your earrings will be dangling. Your baby will instinctively know not to grab either. Your baby will be dressed like a little adult (baby leather jackets were all the rage when my son was little). These rules continue until preschool.

Then you need to enter the birthday party arena and have original themes and extravagant ‘thank you for future gifts’. (I remember when thanks for coming was a piece of cake to take home!). You must also hold signs that you are older than when you gave birth three years ago. You should now be able to run after a hyperactive toddler in 3 inch heels. This child must be clean at all times and ready at all times to shoot the cover of Toddler Today.

These rules increase as the child progresses steadily through primary school. When the child is 11, you must now look younger than you did when you had him. You may be middle-aged, but you have to pass as the slightly older sister of a twenty-something. Botox is not shameful, and dressing in something Liz Hurly would wear is mandatory.

The child is now in high school. You should now be able to pass as a sixth former…or at least be MILF standard (which Yummy Mummy rules say Rachel Hunter is now your role model). You should also always be prepared to show the other moms how hard you are working at it by having an expensive gym bag visible. (This while wearing killer heels… you should NEVER be seen in sportswear!) You should always be seen as just jumping like you have somewhere else to be… your life is one big juggling trick. Basically, as your child gets older, you get younger. You are the busiest and most amazing mom on the planet, and… by the way, your belly is always ready to be used as an ironing board should the need arise.

I am so intimidated by these delicious mummies. It all seems so much work! Half the moms in my son’s high school never eat or are unable to move their eyebrows because of botox. Where I vacuum up food like it’s going out of fashion and find a conversation with someone who remains expressionless terrifying! But I am not brave enough to strike out against them. I wasn’t brave enough to show up at the Gifted and Talented Summer School in sweatpants and a t-shirt. I’m sorry to say not much has changed over the years… the slapping continued, magic pants were rolled on, the whole Rachel Hunter ensemble continued… and I tiptoed to the gate in killer heels! Now it was good for my son. Kids like order, they don’t mind rebelling, but the last thing they need is a rebellious parent bringing down the status quo. Then he ran towards me at the end of the session, happy to see me as always. And I assumed I looked exactly the same as the other moms… Except for one important detail… At least I could raise an eyebrow!

by Jax – Author of the JaxWorld blog

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